‘The Legend of Tarzan’ leaves you hanging on the vine!

They have been trying to make a decent Tarzan movies for years.  Since 1918 there have been 48 attempts to bring the jungle hero to film, the last three were direct to video Disney animation films.  The last time the ‘Lord of the Jungle’ was adapted for live action was in 1998 when teen heart throb Casper Van Dien starred in ‘Tarzan and the Lost City’.  Don’t remember it? Don’t feel bad, neither does most of the movie going public (except for me and I am still having nightmares!).

Director David Yates (best known for his Harry Potter films) announced his own Tarzan project in late 2014 and ‘The Legend of Tarzan’, nearly 3 years later is what he has to show for his efforts.  With weak writing, even weaker acting and two leading characters who have absolutely no chemistry, this latest version of Tarzan is just a dull as its predecessors.

I will give Yates some credit; what it lacks in probable, dramatic story, it makes up for some stunning jungle visuals. Never mind that what action sequences there are a jumble of mish mash cuts that make it hard to follow. The vista shots were stunning. But for better jungle action sequences with a story that will move you, Disney’s ‘The Jungle Book’ is a much better bet.

The story is convoluted and almost slapdash in the way it is put together. Even the good parts are not good enough to muddle through the mess.  The story starts as Tarzan (pretty boy Alexander Skarsgard) is asked to travel back into the Congo to help a trade agreement with Belgium’s King Leopold II, who seems to be systematically plundering the Congo.  There is a back story that is told through flashbacks that are often confusing, it’s like an origin story told within a sequel and it just doesn’t work.  Even the villains aren’t menacing with the usually evil Christoph Waltz even seeming as bored as the audience. As I mentioned earlier, the chemistry between Jane (Margot Robbie) and Tarzan was simply not there, so even that part of the story was dull. Samuel L. Jackson as the true life George Washington Williams seemed to be the only one having any sort of fun.

Skip the 3D version, it is not worth your extra hard earned shillings as a matter of fact, wait for this C- effort to show up with the rest of the B-Movies on Netflix in about a month.  I think it’s time for filmmakers to realize that Tarzan is dead on the vine.